Just had my second son two months ago and it was a water birth, so every time I pushed, I pooped, and the turds floated up to the surface. The doula was scooping them out with a fish net but eventually, she had to go get the big fish net. I had assumed that if I pooped in the water, it wouldn't smell, but it totally… » 9/19/14 7:19pm 9/19/14 7:19pm

I had to see a male gyno once to get my birth control prescription refilled. It wasn't too bad, but he was young and visibly nervous and he totally fucked up my Pap smear. It was also the only time I've ever had a pelvic exam that hurt. I've never had a female OBGYN or midwife hurt me during an exam. » 9/17/14 4:39pm 9/17/14 4:39pm

I always thought I'd marry an artist or journalist or something. My husband is a construction worker who gets this adorably dumb smile on his face when I point out that he looks really crazy doable in his orange T-shirt and work boots. Once he said a receptionist told him his hair was hot and offered to get him… » 9/05/14 5:57pm 9/05/14 5:57pm

You know what sucks? Trying to have some sexy time a month after your partner saw all of that mess. I was physically up for it about four weeks later, but my husband still wasn't mentally ready, and I can't really blame him. With every push, I was shitting all over the place. It was like soft serve. And then there was… » 9/01/14 6:55pm 9/01/14 6:55pm

I never quite understand why people need to get up other people's asses about what they eat. I get this all the time because I have a really sensitive stomach and I find that if I don't eat certain grains (mainly wheat, oats, and barley) or dairy products, I don't have horrible, debilitating stomach cramps,… » 7/15/14 5:03pm 7/15/14 5:03pm

Abso-fucking-lutely. This is what pisses me off about the "kids are too spoiled/kids shouldn't be policed" dichotomy. There's such a wide spectrum here, because kids aren't just puppies to be housebroken, or little adults that you can reason with perfectly. If my son wants his green sippy cup instead of his blue one,… » 7/15/14 3:30pm 7/15/14 3:30pm

That's what pisses me off about this story—the group should've called the police in the first place. Leaving your crying kids in a hot car for a haircut is straight up child endangerment, not forgetfulness. So this group just wanted to feel self-righteous and superior. » 7/15/14 2:59pm 7/15/14 2:59pm