That's what I always thought too—that the food they ate was disgusting, but they all seem to really love each other. But you have to be a special brand of damaged to date someone who hurt your own child. But judging from her own life choices, I'm guessing she was molested as a kid too. » 10/24/14 6:45pm 10/24/14 6:45pm

I used to be really modest about nursing—using a nursing apron, asking friends if they "minded" if I fed my baby. Now—fuck ALL of that noise. I've got a grumpy, puky, refluxy 3-month-old and we're all fucked if he doesn't get a boob in his mouth yesterday. He's got about 15 seconds until he goes into full freak-out… » 10/24/14 1:19am 10/24/14 1:19am

Just had my second son two months ago and it was a water birth, so every time I pushed, I pooped, and the turds floated up to the surface. The doula was scooping them out with a fish net but eventually, she had to go get the big fish net. I had assumed that if I pooped in the water, it wouldn't smell, but it totally… » 9/19/14 7:19pm 9/19/14 7:19pm

I had to see a male gyno once to get my birth control prescription refilled. It wasn't too bad, but he was young and visibly nervous and he totally fucked up my Pap smear. It was also the only time I've ever had a pelvic exam that hurt. I've never had a female OBGYN or midwife hurt me during an exam. » 9/17/14 4:39pm 9/17/14 4:39pm

I always thought I'd marry an artist or journalist or something. My husband is a construction worker who gets this adorably dumb smile on his face when I point out that he looks really crazy doable in his orange T-shirt and work boots. Once he said a receptionist told him his hair was hot and offered to get him… » 9/05/14 5:57pm 9/05/14 5:57pm

You know what sucks? Trying to have some sexy time a month after your partner saw all of that mess. I was physically up for it about four weeks later, but my husband still wasn't mentally ready, and I can't really blame him. With every push, I was shitting all over the place. It was like soft serve. And then there was… » 9/01/14 6:55pm 9/01/14 6:55pm